Janie, our editor, has decreed that an entire section shall be dedicated to theatres under threat and entitled the “Theatre Chopping List”. The rule will be that a theatre will be entered onto the list when a rumour is intercepted that a theatre is about to close. Each endangered theatre will be given a reference number, which will stay with it for ever, and will carry a score to indicate how many weeks it has been on the list. A theatre will be removed from the list when its future is assured as a working theatre or when it is demolished. A short report giving the current state of play will appear beside each entry and it is possible that we will also add a special column headed Crass Comments by Councillors, though this last may be omitted to spare their blushes.

Last week, you may recall, the list looked like this:-

There are three entries on the current Theatre Chopping List:-

1. The Swan Theatre, Worcester – not yet guaranteed of survival.
2. The Priestley Centre, Bradford – a rescue package is being introduced
3. The Secombe Theatre, Sutton, Surrey – scheduled for closure on 31 Jan. 2003

Sadly, as we go to press, it has been announced that a fourth theatre has joined the list. On Tuesday, February 11th, it will be announced to a full meeting of the Three Rivers District Council that the Watersmeet Theatre, Rickmansworth, will be closed with immediate effect “on cost-saving grounds”. My “Community Arts Directory 2002-2003” tells me that the Watersmeet Theatre is located in the High Street, Rickmansworth, and it has a seating capacity of 481, a 10m proscenium opening, four dressing rooms and an orchestra pit; in other words it’s a super little theatre of just the right size to be leased to and run by an enthusiastic group of amateur theatrepeople working to a high standard of practice and performance. I have yet to investigate the true facts surrounding this theatre, but suspect that – as has been the problem with other theatres under threat – the local council has considered only over-staffing by council employees whose experience of play-production is that they once saw an amitcher performance of Maim.

My current information is that just one month ago, the council was crowing about the facts that the recent Christmas pantomime and a previous production of West Side Story had broken all box-office records and that the refurbished foyer and new disabled access lift were well received. My suspicions are aroused by the theatre’s address in the High Street which may constitute a prime site for development.

News from the original three condemned theatres is far better, even though they have each been reprieved into council care. During my earlier research into the situation at Worcester, ominous praise was voiced for the employee who had “saved” (turned around the fortunes of, single-handed) a nearby concert hall, so it was difficult to be surprised when the announcement was made that the lease of the Swan Theatre had been snatched back from a consortium of local theatre groups and placed with the management of the council’s Huntingdon Hall, therefore its survival remains far from assured. This Swansong will continue until it is safe.

It seems that The Priestley Centre in Bradford will remain open, but I will check the true situation and report to you on the new Theatre Chopping List....

...which leaves The Secombe Theatre in Sutton, Surrey. It was indeed due to close at the end of January, but it remained open. Theatre administrators and council employees responded coyly to my questioning; some declined to give their names while others referred me to the Press Office. Finally – yesterday evening – by a devious route, I found myself in conversation with the Councillor responsible for Learning and Leisure. She is due to address a Council Meeting on Monday, 10th February. I can assure the Councillor – Leslie Coman - that several other of my informants also intend to address that same meeting in no uncertain terms.

I must truthfully report, however, that I found Leslie to be open-minded and keen to find the best way of organising the several Sutton performance venues in such a way that they will best serve the community. She has increased the weekly rental of the Secombe by 48% and makes no apology for this because it remains lower than other theatre rentals in the same area. I took issue with her on the withdrawal of bar and café services on performance nights and she assured me that ways are being sought of restoring these services. Be assured that we will keep the Secombe clearly in view. This story, along with the other three on the Chopping List is very far from complete. Please keep me informed on these and any other Theatres Under Threat.

And for the owl-lovers among you, I can report that Jonah (my raptorian namesake and friend) is as preoccupied as he promised he would be, helping Penny (his wife and mother) to make their nest snug and secure, ready for its reception of several white eggs in an alarmingly short time from now. It is possible that all of the theatre owls in the U.K. are similarly occupied at this time, which is why we quackers must remain extra-fluent in our passage of information from one to the other and back to Amdram HQ.

Jonah was a very experience director, teacher and writer who sadly passed away in February 2006. He was also the author of the highly successful "Playmaker - The Craft of Directing Plays (The Way I Seen It)".