* your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.
* you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.
* you've ever driven around looking for discards that can be used for set pieces.
* you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is.
* you have an account Card at St Vincent de Paul.
* You've ever taken time off your job to work on the show
* You've worked your holiday time to coincide with technical/set up week.
* you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.
* your family is more than 50% of the staff.
* you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with sellotape
* you've ever appeared in a show where the cast out-numbered the audience 2 to 1 .
* you've ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions.
* you've ever gotten a part because you were the only Male who showed up for auditions.
* you've ever menaced/threatend anyone with a gun held together with electrical tape.
* you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening gown and heels.
* you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening gown and heels-and you're a guy.
* you've ever played the father of someone your father's age.
* your kids/family know your rehearsal schedule better than you do.
* your kids/family know your lines better than you do.
* your kids/family deliver your lines better than you do.
* you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.
* you've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was really drunk.
* you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to.
* you've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say "Just paint it black-no one will ever see it."
* the set designer had ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor's still wet-five minutes before curtain.
* you've ever said "Don't worry-use Gaffa tape and if that doesn't work we'll just superglue it."
* If you have the deep need to forward this to more than 5 people who would TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THIS

Can anyone think of any others

QUOTE (Loopy Loupie @ Feb 14 2003, 1:39 PM)

* you've ever appeared in a show where the cast out-numbered the audience 2 to 1 .

In Romanoff and Juliet by Peter Ustinov

General (turning to the audience) Look at us
Soldier 2 Halt, who goes there?
General Put your guns away men, we're outnumbered.
Soldier 1 (Counting the audience) Just!

QUOTE (Loopy Loupie @ Feb 14 2003, 1:39 PM)

* your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.

Sitting in the audience watching a show I'd been helping on, my girlfriend turned to me and said "That sofa looks like the one from our back room, IT IS the one from our back room!". Oops!

If I'm in my musical then I'll appear in my own clothes and with my sister. I've also been in some very small audiences, its very disheartening.

QUOTE (Loopy Loupie @ Feb 14 2003, 2:41 PM)

I've also been in some very small audiences, its very disheartening.

Oh Loopie. Know the feeling. But then you get a good audience and everything's all rosy again!

By the way, not sure about your Avatar, hon. Doesn't "do" anything for me. I like to think I can get to know someone by what Avatar they choose but getting no vibes here man....

QUOTE (Maureen @ Feb 14 2003, 3:52 PM)

By the way, not sure about your Avatar, hon. Doesn't "do" anything for me. I like to think I can get to know someone by what Avatar they choose but getting no vibes here man....

Good call Maureen, I think a grungy studenty type avatar would be ideal.

I started out on Imladris.net which has now closed, which is beside the point, but anyway, as a Ranger-werecat, thats what I look like at full moonn

Loupie, I think I've done nearly everything on your list. Ooops!!

I'm obviously too much of a newbee at this I've hardly done anything on it...

though I am planning on using my day off next Tuesday to go home (at least half an hour away on the train, plus buses) To help out with the church musical

In "Bedroom Farce" a couple of years back we used my bed, 2 bedside cabinets, an old chest of drawers (which was made into the collapsible one that you need), bedside lamps, various sheepskin rugs and a duvet. Not necessarily all in the same bedroom (the show is set in 3 bedrooms simultaneously!) - it meant for some peculiar living arrangements for the week of the show!

I bet it did, heres the ones I've done

* you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes. Yep, did so on Friday and Saturday
* you've ever driven around looking for discards that can be used for set pieces. Nope, as I don't drive but have come close
* you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is. Thats true, I don't know where the cleaner keeps it
* You've ever taken time off your job to work on the show. No but see below
* You've worked your holiday time to coincide with technical/set up week. Went home in the on my day off to help at the dress rehersal
* your family is more than 50% of the staff. Not yet
* you've ever appeared in a show where the cast out-numbered the audience 2 to 1 . Nope, been in the audience though
* you've ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions. Nope, not done that many auditions
* your kids/family know your rehearsal schedule better than you do. Yes, well they were able to go to more rehersalds than me
* your kids/family know your lines better than you do. No, I knew all the lines better than the whole cast
* your kids/family deliver your lines better than you do. Yes, they do
* you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first. No, it was very close though
* you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to. Yes on Friday and Saturday and in Brownies
* you've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say "Just paint it black-no one will ever see it." I've said that or something similar
* you've ever said "Don't worry-use Gaffa tape and if that doesn't work we'll just superglue it." I did suggest using duct tape but noone listened
* If you have the deep need to forward this to more than 5 people who would TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THIS Yes and have done, though there were way more than 5

Here's the ones I've done!!

* you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes. too often actually
* you've ever driven around looking for discards that can be used for set pieces. used to borrow things from the theatre where I worked!!!
* You've ever taken time off your job to work on the show I used to rehearse in the theatre where I worked!
* you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker. and taped up the hem with gaffa
* you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with sellotape very nearly
* you've ever appeared in a show where the cast out-numbered the audience 2 to 1 .often
* you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening gown and heels.
* your kids/family know your lines better than you do. mum dad and my little sister always test me without looking!
* your kids/family deliver your lines better than you do. cheers mum!
* the set designer had ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor's still wet-five minutes before curtain. been there said that!
* you've ever said "Don't worry-use Gaffa tape and if that doesn't work we'll just superglue it."everyone knows gaffa solves EVERYTHING!!!


The thing is as well that you would be suprised how much of this goes on with the professionals too though! CRAZY!!!!

That just shows you how good we all are, the professionals have to use the same methods as us

* you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes. yep
* you've ever driven around looking for discards that can be used for set pieces. yep
* You've ever taken time off your job to work on the show. yep
* you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker. yep
* you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with sellotape. yep
* you've ever appeared in a show where the cast out-numbered the audience 2 to 1 .yep
* you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening gown and heels. yep
* your kids/family know your lines better than you do. yep
* your kids/family deliver your lines better than you do. yep
* the set designer had ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor's still wet-five minutes before curtain. yep
* you've ever said "Don't worry-use Gaffa tape and if that doesn't work we'll just superglue it." yep


Guess I could be a pro then!

QUOTE (Anne-Marie @ Feb 25 2003, 8:03 PM)

Guess I could be a pro then!

*Cue set change to a street corner with red light*

hehehehe

I trawled the net for these kind of funnies to put in our newsletter of which I am the editor. I managed to find enough of these, theatre definitions, lightbulb jokes etc to keep the jokes section full for over a year!

Linda

Same here, Linda - that's why I've got such a stash of them!

Done most of the above listed, or have seen it happen. Found another great list of theatre definitions. Give me one person who can't relate to it:

http://lauren.demion.com/theatrefunnyhaha.html

QUOTE

Prop - A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor 30 seconds before it is needed on stage.

That is so true!!!!

I still believe the ONLY TRUE way to PROVE you aer a AM DRAM person in any way shape of form...

Is the ability to sing the "We go together" song from Grease!!!!

Word Perfect....

"Wap de Wap"

Until you can do this you're still little league....

*wink*

We go together
like rama lama lama Ka dinkity ding de dong
Remembered for ever
Like shoo wabbity waddy waddy ipity boom de boom

Need I continue... (I also know the dance routine my sister came up with)

Anne-Marie - you should have presented the show in your own house - it would have been easier for you to do rather than bringing all that furniture to the theatre and let the audience into your house !!!!

QUOTE (George @ Mar 17 2003, 3:23 PM)

I still believe the ONLY TRUE way to PROVE you are a AM DRAM person in any way shape of form... Is the ability to sing the "We go together" song from Grease!!!! Word Perfect....

oh crikey.....i get into trouble from my friends because they are ashamed of me for knowing the whole song!!! Maybe this is why i am destined to work only with kids.....