Hi people. I laughed till I cried just reading these!! Perhaps thats just because I'm as daft as some of the answers!!

Read and enjoy!!

Roy


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PS They're all English TV or radio shows.



Are people really as daft as this???
These are classic...especially the Larry Gogan ones


The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2






Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.




Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.

Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels ? travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1

Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

Family Fortunes, ITV

Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.
Contestant: Bananas.

The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774

Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.

Lincs FM phone-in

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

Steve Wright Show, Radio 2

Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument?
Contestant: The baton.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Expresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy McGinty's??
Contestant: I don't know.
Wright: It begins with a "G".
Contestant: Cow.

Midday Money, ITV

Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera ? true or false?
Contestant: Er -- true.
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC Radio Newcastle

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC

Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.

BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show

Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz on 2FM:

1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the Capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal ? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge ? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom ? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home ? Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs ? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac ? April
22) Something people might be allergic to ? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed ? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls ? A roof
25) Something Slippery ? A conman
26) A kind of ache ? A fillet of fish
27) A Jacket Potato topping ? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white ? A potato

Nice one Roy - nothing like a good laugh to start off a long night shift

In defense of 'weakest link' contestants - its flippin hard when your up there.

Not a daft answer, but related, Ann asked one of the guys on the episode i was on what his best chat up line was, he replied:

"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?"
Anne replies: "no"
"Neither do I, I just thought it would break the ice"

LOL

Had Ann in fits, much to the delight of the production team.

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